The Secret of Stress-free Living

Is it possible to live a stress-free life in our busy modern society? In our busy daily life, we are literally facing stress from every corner of our life –stress from our family, work, friends, our partners, or even from ourselves. No matter where you live, whether you are rich or poor, and what background you are from, we all face stress.  

If you are an employee, you might be stressed about your work and the crazy property price (especially in China). If you are an entrepreneur, you might be stressed about growing your business. If you are a single woman over 30, you might be stressed about not finding your partner at the “right age” (especially in China)… in a nutshell, we all face stress in life, perhaps the level of stress varies between people, the rich perhaps has less stress than the poor (or vice versa!), the married probably has less stress than the single (or vice versa! :P), but there is always stress!  

Stress is almost always inevitable in our competitive modern society. However, what many people didn’t realise is that –yes we can’t control what’s happening outside,but we can and definitely are capable of controlling what’s happening inside i.e. our attitudes and actions that we choose to face stress.

Here I wish to share some tips of what to do when we face stress or unpleasant situations (for example, you have too much work and your boss is an ass :P), you can think like this—

Ok, I can’t control what’s happening outside (please accept the situations that are happening, try not to use negative emotions tofight against it, because even if you fight, the fact that “you have too much work” (just an example) might not go away. Please try to stay calm and tryto solve the problems peacefully (try NOT TO think it’s “so annoying” and try not to release such negative energy, as it would not change anything but may worsen the situation- it’s ok to rant for a second though then just forget about it :P). Try to bring your consciousness to your breathing and the tone you are speaking. If you feel like you are not breathing and speaking calmly,try to readjust the way you breathe and speak. Try to relax and lighten yourmood, and try to bring positivity into what you are doing. 

If you can face any situations calmly and light-heartedly, then you would not feel any stress at all (even if the stress is “physically” there, but mentally, you can just not feel it :P). This is because you are conscious and mindful.  The reason why we would feel stress is because our mind feels stress. If you are able to change the way you mind thinks, that is, consciously communicating with your mind “hey, don’t feel that way buddy”, then you would not feel it (Trust me, you can totally trick your monkey mind :P).  Even if the world hasn’t changed, but as long as you change your attitude and the way you think, then it’s a whole new different world.

What I just mentioned is actually largely based on the “conscious living” concept from Zen and Yoga (you can also find this in Buddhism and probably other religion). But I don’t want to mention Zen or Yoga at the beginning, as some people may think it is some kind of religion,but it’s not (maybe also depends on your definition of religion). This concept can be applied to everyone and in every situation. This is the art of stress-free living, liberation.

If you can devote 100% attention into every minute and every second in your life, to really BE IN THE PRESENT (i.e. do not engage any other thoughts than what you are currently doing) – for example, when you eat, you should eat wholeheartedly; when you think, you should only be thinking; when you are doing housework, you should only be focused on doing housework…in that way, you will not feel stressed, as you are only doing and thinking one thing at a time. Any stress or negative emotions are all stemmed from our mind (the outer layer of our inner self).  

Try not to be greedy and distracted i.e. when you work you think about hanging out with friends, and when you are out with friends you think about work. In that way, you would not really BE IN ANY MOMENT if you were doing that all the time, then you miss out on living!If you can really control your monkey mind (yes we all have monkey minds :P), then you can definitely live a relatively stress free life (if not totally stress-free)! Of course, unfortunately, it’s always easier said than done. 

That is why we need to raise our consciousness (or awareness or mindfulness) –only when you are able to be aware of your negative emotions,then you can respond to it quickly and hopefully control it before it’s too late!). Yoga and meditation are very effective means for raising consciousness and controlling your mind (probably need another article on this). Other well-known effective means are Zen practice, Tai-chi etc.

Actually no matter what we are doing in our life, as long as you devote yourself wholeheartedly into it, then you can raise your consciousness by doing that. For example, if you love cooking, then you may feel really relaxed when you cook,that is because you are able to pay attention to the cooking  process and not anything else (your monkey mind is absent at that moment). Same goes for cleaning and other things that you enjoy doing. That’s why to live a happy life we should do the things we love and do it often! :D

I’m also at my baby steps when it comes to “living consciously and being conscious at all time”.  Hopefully we can grow together, spiritually!

“Early in the journey you wonder how long the journey will take and whether you will make it in this lifetime. Later you will see that where you are going is HERE and you will arrive NOW…so you stop asking.”
-Ram Dass
Love, Peace & Bliss
Anjali Love