Don't Let Fear Hold You Back

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It is said that each day our mind will generate around 50,000 - 70,000 thoughts, that is, 35- 48 thoughts per minute. Our thoughts determine our actions, and our actions determine our destiny. 

That is why meditation is extremely significant. We shower every day to keep our body clean, and similarly, meditation works as a mental shower for our brain, to help us to filter unnecessary thoughts, and leaving us feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. 

If you are a regular meditator, then you will probably realise that there are primarily two driving forces of your thoughts: 
1) fear (including ego and other negative factors); or
2) love (including courage and other positive factors) 

Understanding the driving forces behind our thoughts is helpful as it can assist us in making conscious choices which are most responsible for our life and soul. 

No matter where we are from, I believe as human beings, we all want happiness. We all wish our lives to be filled with love and joy. I am also a firm believer that, as human beings, we all are capable of creating lives that are filled with love and joy, the choices are in our hands. 

'Happiness is your birthright.' - Yogi Bhajan 


But to create this kind of life, we must become conscious of our thoughts, to consciously filter negative thoughts, to filter thoughts are fear-based, and to consciously choose love-based thoughts, and to act upon them. 

For instance, maybe you are interested in someone, but because of fear (perhaps fear of rejection), you do not wish to confess your feelings towards the other person. The other person may also be interested in you but also have the same fear, so a potential relationship may never develop due to fear.  

(If I am interested in someone, I like to tell the other my feelings, even if I get rejected, it is not a big deal. In that way, I know earlier that there is really no need to waste time hanging on a tree that is not available to you, and remember there is still a whole forest waiting for you to explore :))

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Another example, you want to break up or divorce from a toxic relationship, but due to fear (maybe the fear of never be able to find another person, age, etc.) you still choose to stay in a toxic relationship. 

Another example, you may want to pursue your dreams but you are afraid of giving up the job you hate due to the fear that you may not be able to support yourself by pursuing your dream, so you choose not to chase your dream instead. 

The list goes on...

 

However, one must not forget that life is short. At the end of life, I believe we will not regret about all our failures in life, but rather, we will regret the things we never dare to try. 

No matter what you want to do, go and do it, don't stop yourself due to fear.  Don't let fear becomes the helmsman of your destiny, don't live in fear, try to figure out whatever ways to overcome your fear. 

Don't be afraid of failures, even if you fail, it is also fine. Instead, embracing failures, knowing that failures are just valuable life lessons. And with each failure, it comes growth. 

Personally, I'm very grateful for all the failures in my life. A lot of my experiences and attempts in life so far are all failures (I became a lawyer but did not carry out a legal career, I ran my startups but failed...), but all these experiences have attributed and continue to attribute in my growth, and for that, I'm forever grateful. 

My constant attempts and failures have helped me to boost my courage; then one day I realise that failures are not that bad at all, there is really nothing to be afraid of.

Every failure helps me to keep learning, to understand and discover myself, to make me move a bit closer to my dreams, to make me become the person that I really want to be. 

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'Failure is the mother of success.' - Chinese proverb 

 

I think the biggest failure in life is not the failure you experience after trying, but it is because you never dare to try due to fear. 

So, dear ones, please be courageous. Don't let fear hold you back,
don't let the doubts in your mind hold you back. Believe in yourself, overcoming your fear, colouring your life with all possible adventures and live life with no regrets. 

 

Tips for overcoming fear: 

Meditate regular and becoming a witness of your thoughts. If you discover that your thoughts are fear-based then consciously choose to ignore. If you can't ignore, then try to persuade your fear, have a conversation with fear:

"Fear, I know you are here, but I still want to try, you are not the master of my life, so please just step aside and look.' 

 

Tips for meditation: 

You can sit cross-legged, straighten your spine (if you can't sit cross-legged, you can also kneel or just lie down, bring your consciousness to your breath, becoming the witness of your thoughts. 

Remember you are only witnessing your thoughts, there is no need to judge, no need to engage, acting as a third party to witness your thoughts, then you will discover that many thoughts will come and go. 

When you realise you have gone away with your thoughts, again, bring your consciousness back to your breath, always be with your breath.

Try this every day for 10-20 minutes,  and you will discover that you have become much more conscious about your thoughts in your daily life, you know which thoughts you should ignore and which ones are worth pursuing. 

Remember you attract and create most situations in your life, so it is important we shall consciously attract and create. What we need to overcome is actually ourselves - our fear, our ego, negative thinking, and emotions, etc. If we can overcome (or ignore) most of these, I believe your life will no doubt flourish!

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'In the end, 

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.'


- Mary Oliver